Real life is swallowing me up, bones and all.
Hoping once I get my work schedule figured out, I'll have some playing time.
Interesting tidbit?
Corbin's actress is Jodelle Ferland.
Jodelle Ferland is in Tideland.
Chris Boha is Assistant Craft Service crew in Tideland.
Chris Boha is my Hot Glass instructor.
That's weird. And cool. But mostly weird.
And now he thinks I'm a keener stalker, because I had to email him to ask if that was him. haha.
Anyway, yeah. Classes are great, shouldn't be much trouble, it's just a matter of settling into them and murdering my social life so I have time to PLAY. I miss you all, terribly.
I also have gallstones and am signing up for surgery, though it'll probably take like.. til summer before I get in unless I have an attack and almost die. *lol* Chemo is the devil. Just remember that. I blame all my problems on it. ;)
Also: London Fogs are the best drinks EVAR. <3
This has been your PSA. Cheerio for now! Pip pip.
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
Hyde and I were playing around with Arithmancy while we RP'd, and we found some scariness.
( The numbers never lie... )
Eeeerily accurate. I'm kinda scared.
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
 |
| 2007-07-22 18:53 |
| August 3, 1980 |
| Public |
| Bedroom, Crawford Manor, Craufurdland, Scotland |
 weird |
| alfie, briar, brothers, fair, hyde, journal, photo |
|
Well. This Carnival thing is going to be the death of a certain two someones, I'll wager.
With the promise of a broom for the coming year AND Quidditch Camp, they lured me to Diagon Alley. Again. Little did I know when we headed off that we'd be spending the majority of our time in that bloody fair. If I knew more useful hexes and a way to keep the Ministry off my back, those two would be in so much pain right now. They forced me to play a multitude of games. They literally pinned me down so someone could paint my face, and they.. I'm not exactly sure what they did to turn my hair PINK but I am not impressed. It's gone now, thank Merlin.
I escaped to, well, Escape the Grind, to try to wash the worst of it off my face. Hyde was there with some girl with distasteful manners in the 'eating while speaking' department, though I suppose the excuse of extra-gummy slugs is acceptable. Briar, I believe? Another Hufflepuff. She was sharing with him. I just noticed.. well, he's a familiar shape by now. I tossed my bag at the feet of their table and kept going toward the loo, but he stopped me, and... she was going to share with me, as well. Needless to say, it confused me a little. I mean. We share in Slytherin. We're quite happy to dole out the goodies. Certain of the students are more than happy to fling Ice Mice my way at all occasions.
Either way, it was odd. Hyde made some comment about the color doing wonders for my complexion - the utter beast! - and Alfie made an appearance, and then Briar flew out and left us half her shake. It wasn't too long before those great prats - William and Lawrence, I mean - came and bodily carted me away! I could not believe their nerve, the gall those boys have! I don't think Alfie was overly thrilled with the mode of my departure, and I shudder to think of Hyde's reaction, but they took me away to try to earn my favor back with broom and other favors. And then they dragged me back to the fair and teased me about Hyde and won me a couple toys. They finally Scourgified me when we got home, but the color won't come out the tips of my hair, still. Ugh.
This is going in here, because if I leave it out, they'll show it to everyone who passes through and I'll never live it down. I promised not to destroy it when they dangled the broom.
Hyde sent an owl! He asked me to come visit. There's a beach. A real beach, with real sand, not the grassy, half-sand that borders the lake. Beach! I've never met his mother. I'm rather nervous. I don't know what she's like at all.
He held my hand under the table. I wonder if things will be like that when we're back at school. I wonder if people will know. I wonder if I care if they do...
2 Comments | Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
|
|
Happy Birthday to me.
Actually, it was. It was.. it... was... hm.
I hesitate to put 'It was the best birthday so far' in here, in fear that a certain infuriating male might manage to sneak into my room and read it, but then again I think there's some level of trust and I wouldn't go looking at his journal without his permission so I'm going to assume that he's not and just let my utter trust in him be all the warning that one would need to not read any further than this.
(I'm so subtle.)
Wasn't quite midnight when the owl was tapping on my window. I was barely asleep - despite this utter calm exterior, birthdays have and, I suspect, always will hold an excitement for me. They usually bring about princess-style days where I can order my multitude of cousins about, make demands of my brothers to entertain me with their rather comparatively advanced magical skills, and wheedle 'they're really too old for you, Corbin darling, but as it's your birthday...' books out of my parents. Anyway, I was barely asleep, and the bird woke me. A present, of course, a charm and ice mice. My bracelet is getting full and I somehow think it's his intention to attach some memory and meaning to each one he gives.
Stars and moonlight, an invitation to my little lake, and off I went. Blasted boy. This gift-giving thing was a mistake, and not letting him give me the camera back - well I can't say that I regret it, you know, but it makes it rather difficult to refuse a gift when I nearly took his head off for trying to do so. I dare say I'll have the best Potions kit of the Second Year classes, though. It really was wonderful of him. I think he's one of the only people who realizes just how much I adore Potions...
Anyway. That's all. My present, sitting by the lake. There was nothing else that happened. Nothing at all. Not one little bit of a thing, and especially nothing that involved lips, or a stupid inability to speak. Nothing at all. Nope.
Dawn comes up over the forest rather prettily.
My brothers came home for my birthday. Valiant, a tribute to the Gryffindor blood that most certainly does not run strong in my veins, I protected him from the worst of those two. They've grown up, though, so it wasn't too bad. Books, promises of trips to London to stay with them later on in the summer, new robes and such for the coming year from mum and dad. They're all still bemoaning my Slytherin sorting, but despite that, the twins gave me a rather pretty serpent necklace - for special occasions, of course. I imagine it will look better when I have a chest for the snake to nestle into a bit.
Wow. That was really girly of me. Merlin.
It's been a busy day, and I need some sleep. I think we'll be going to Diagon Alley soon. I keep mumbling about Glacier Mountain and Birthday Cake ice cream.
6 Comments | Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
That.. did not go quite as I planned it.
Okay, admittedly I didn't really go to the tower with a plan. I just kind of.. went.
Note to self: For the love of Merlin, think before you act. You are not a child, to run willy-nilly as the mood strikes.
I don't think there's ever been so much yelling, screaming, and crying from me in my life. This tight hold on my emotions is really a necessity. If anyone else had been around.. well. It wouldn't have been good.
I thin 'infuriating' is the perfect word to describe him. And yet...
And yet, at the end, past all the misunderstandings and emotional reactions and yelling and running away.. There was an unexpected sweetness there. Soft hands, warm arms, and... actual caring, maybe.
It's not how I pictured my first kiss, prompted by jealousy and followed by tears and yelling.
Ending up in the oddly comforting safety of arms, though.. It wasn't perfect, but then, nothing ever is.
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
|
|
If I was a poet, I could contrive the words I would speak. I could lay them out on paper and scratch away the inadequacies, cover them with ink until no trace remained. I could carve out inconsistencies and paranthesized explanations of thought (and what thoughts they are, sometimes) and I would be left only with the clarity of truth.
I... don't know what I want to say. Anger. Clarity. Jealousy. I'm awash in emotions and theres nothing to hold onto.
I looked all day. Wonderful, sunny, and the entire school was outdoors enjoying it. Not him. All day. No breakfast, no lunch, no shadow of him by the lake nor whisper at the forest, no reflection in the windows. I have never had to look for that boy in the year I have been here. Not finding him, I sat on the steps in the hall and waited: everyone goes past, eventually.
And he did. Dressed in some godawful Muggle fashion and far too much for the weather, and, as I found out shortly, hiding a bloody hickey on his neck. Lies and snogging and I have never found myself so furious. I pushed him, yelled, and perhaps I would have driven him with my hands and anger had Alfie not appeared. Hyde ran off.
Alfie.. well. I can't say very much on that front. Mysterious, words cloaked in meanings that sometimes leave me lost. I'd never admit that. I am brilliant, and it would not do for anyone to think that there is anything I don't understand.. even if it's the truth.
It's clear now, this thing inside me, and I get it - I get it, I understand, but clarity doesn't necessarily bring control and he was right, Hogwarts is not the place to shout and shove.
Three days. Three days of embarassed looks and subtle aversion - not outright, not after that. I think he knows it would be a fool's choice to outright avoid me. I've given him his time, though. Three days, and an owl with a package. Ice Mice were all my housemates saw, but I put the charm on the bracelet and slipped the note in my pocket.
I'll meet him. Perhaps I shouldn't, maybe it's stupidity. He's sorry. I should do something before my clarity deserts me. I'm a Slytherin, after all, shouldn't I be demanding my dues? Maybe it's the Gryffindor so prevalent in my genes, if not my mind, that force me to this recklessness. Sometimes it's hard to tell. I've figured it out, all of it, everything. This snapping jealousy will not do, it is beneath me, and I will make him see or break him trying.
3 Comments | Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
I accidentally went swimming this morning. I hadn't planned on it.
Even though he pulled me in with no warning at all, and almost drowned me, it was a lot of fun. My uniform ended up soaked, and I stole his tee shirt to wear. My throat is a little sore from choking on lakewater, and I think I upset him a little at the end, I enjoyed it.
I hope he's still coming for part of the summer. It'd be nice to swim together again.
I don't think anyone saw me rushing back to the dorms in his tee and my skirt, still dripping.
Thankfully.
2 Comments | Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
|
|
So. You guys don't know me too well OOCly even if we chat a lot, and there are a few things you don't know.
Late May 2005 I had surgery to remove my right ovary, and found out that I had ovarian cancer. I was 22. This is really young for ovarian cancer (the next youngest woman in my support group was 48), and it's had a rather major impact on my life. After a long respite while they searched for someone who had seen my particular brand of cancer before, I ended up doing 8 months of chemotherapy. I finished that January 2006, and I'm thankful to say that, aside from my recurring "hip pains" (arthritis-like something in my SI joints) I've been pretty much healthy since! :)
Anyway, that's some background. I know I don't know you guys well and I've only been on HE for a little while, but I'm trying to raise the minimum $300 that the Alberta Cancer Society requires for me to walk in the Underwear Affair, which is a fundraiser for cancers below the waist. As you can imagine, this walk is very important to me, and I really want to do it! :)
If you can spare a few bucks to help me on my way, I'd be eternally grateful. It's for an amazing cause, for amazing people who are going through something I wouldn't wish on anyone, and it's searching for a cure to something no one should have to suffer through.
For more information, head to: www.uncoverthecure.org
To donate, go there, click 'Calgary,' then 'Donate,' and then type in my name (Lacy Jae Slaunwhite) and 'Find A Participant.' The levels on the left of my page are where you click to donate. :)
If you can't help out, cheer me on on July 9th when I'll be walking. Even if you can't be there for it, it'd be great to know that some people out there are cheering me on. :)
Thanks for reading. Pass this along if you think you know anyone who would be willing to donate. :)
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
Apparently, physical contact isn't all that horrible a thing.
In the grass under a happy blue sky and warm sun, it's... nice.
I wonder if Arithmancy would have predicted what happened this afternoon. I meant to ask about figuring out what to add to make an outcome turn out the way you want, but I got distracted. A reminder to myself: ask about that next time.
I think my house will be much less empty this summer than I expected. Not that it is ever emtpy, of course, but I'm usually avoiding the extended family. At least the people I'm carting home from this place will be ones I want to spend time with!
I wonder what tomorrow will hold.
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
|
|
This morning, when the flurry of owls come down to deliver the mail, one non-descript owl in particular comes down to Corbin, carrying a small and simple box, wrapped in plain brown wrapping paper.
Inside, of course, is not quite as simple. It looks to be an ornate, tiny wooden jewelry box, one that expands magically on the inside and she can possibly store her rings into if she so wishes it.
But that's not all, oh no! Inside THAT box is a silver chain-link bracelet, complete with a few little silver charms with it. One is pretty obviously a tiny book, and another a quill, but the third is more personal - it is a pattern of two snakes winding around each other, one with tiny amethyst diamonds as eyes, the other with emeralds. Naturally, there is no note, no hint whatsoever of who may have sent this particular gift. Perhaps a secret admirer of some sort?
Monday, April 9 1980
I don't know what's going on. Oh, I know who sent it - there's no doubt in my mind.
Lovely, though... I don't think I've ever seen such a pretty jewellery box. It's so small. I didn't even think to look inside, thinking it was decorative, and then.. the bracelet. The snake charm...
I wonder...
I don't know what I wonder. He's got me right confused. Luther dragged me out to the Infirmary to pick something up with him a couple nights ago, and I was studying in my pink - pink! - sweatshirts and jeans. I don't think most of Slytherin has seen me out of my uniform, except at the Quid party. And here he comes, dragging me off in it for the whole school to see.
And of course Hyde was there. When is he ever anywhere else? And he didn't make fun of me. Neither of them did. I didn't know what to think. I'm sure they were mocking me somehow, and I just didn't catch it.. They couldn't have meant that pink looks good on me.. really. It's not Slytherin in the least!
It's already sunny and warm out. I can't wait until classes are over for the day, and I can escape these stone walls and press my toes into the grass..
5 Comments | Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
He... and then I... and... he... it... they were..
Brilliant. He's brilliant. He's.. I can't even make words. When has that ever happened? My brain is not functioning. AT ALL. Unprecedented!
Damn him.
But they're so lovely. The colors, the movements, it's all just... It makes me think of that day I caught him there, and he teased me for dropping my wand. It's like I'm creating the colors.. The still one, it's like.. it's like I'm an angel.
Brilliant.
I'm going to be late for class. It's his fault! I had to run come back and hide them somewhere safe until I figure out what to do with them. If anyone in the Commons saw me rush through, I'm sure I'll bear the brunt of smiling so much when they find me.
Damn him. I'll bite to keep the smile off my face.
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
|
|
Stabilo: Flawed Design
Gowan: Innocent
Gowan: You Never Let Go
Pop Debris: Tongue on the Pulse of God
She’s got eyes that don’t make sense to me
Tell me lies of things that I could be
She’s got silver bullets somewhere in there
Just needs the willingness to use them
Everything is breaking, everything is breaking
Everything is broken
She’s got words that cut from deep inside
Mesmerize and conquer and divide
All the words it takes to make me fall
Just needs the willingness to use them
Everything is breaking, everything is breaking
Everything is broken
Well I’ve got my tongue on the pulse of god
I know it’s wrong but I can’t make it stop
If I jump in now, will it mean my life
I cannot die like this
I haven’t seen Memphis yet, and lord knows I’ve been so close
I had this thought the other night
If all the lovers I had lied to could see me now
They’d laugh so loud
That all this earth that feels so damn secure beneath my feet
Would crack
And as I slipped down I would take her with me
How in god’s name did I get this far
Young enough to care, too old to scar
She knows all the things that break my heart
Just needs the willingness to prove them
Everything is breaking, everything is breaking
Everything is broken
Well I’ve got my tongue on the pulse of god
I know it’s wrong but I can’t make it stop
I had the one chance to make it home
But she’s got her tongue on my pulse and I’m gone
(click the link to listen. Pop Debris is a local band, and I know them. They rock. Go to www.popdebris.com to hear more!)
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
|
|
11:30pm
Strange tidings...
The end of the year approaches. Think of it! I've been here almost a year, yet it seems so little time has passed. Studying had turned my brain to mush, so I took the books Luther gave me - 'Wolfsbane and Other Cures,' and 'Rare Ingredients: An Encyclopaedia of Their Uses' specifically - to see if the librarian had any similar books. Luther, Alfie, and Ciarra were there when I got there, and I joined them.
Hyde came out of the stacks after a bit, and that really should stop surprising me. It seems like I can't go anywhere without running into him - or vice versa, maybe. I... don't know about that boy. Today he was very intent on searching through rune texts, and when Alfie and Ciarra joined him, I overheard that his cousin or something had sent him a supposedly cursed locket. I'll admit, it piqued my interest, but I kept talking to Luther for a while. He wasn't sure where he'd be spending the summer, since he can't stay at home, so I invited him to come to my place for a while. It will be nice to have someone my own age around - lots of cousins, but most are either older or younger, and the wizarding ones only come to visit sometimes, a lot have wandered off to other schools for their wizarding education. Anyway. We can train for Quidditch tryouts next year.
Then Alfie was talking about his Boggart, and - well, I can write it here even if I wouldn't tell anyone else. It really bothered me. I wasn't scared, or anything, but the idea of someone falling apart, skin sloughing off, all rotten and wasting away as they live - I don't know how accurate my mental image was, but it made me appreciate again why I avoided those awful Living Dead movies. I guess I reacted badly, even though they were a couple tables down, and Luther touched my arm to see if I was alright.
Seems like people always forget how much I don't like to be touched most times. It was alright, Luther was just checking on me.
Hyde, though... he seemed..strange. Almost angry. Too direct, too.. I don't know. There was something so intense about him, the way he was looking at Luther, the way he was looking at me... I don't know what to think. He's the only person I've ever been afraid of. No, that's not right. I'm not scared of him, but that time in the library when he grabbed me.. and then the way he glared today.. It sets me on edge and makes me worry a little, makes me uneasy. I'm not afraid of him, but... I can't work out what I am. Confused, ha.
I left my books in the library when I left with Luther. Alfie didn't bring them back with him or he would have made sure to give them to me.. I hope the librarian remembers they're mine so I can get them back... and that someone else doesn't take them. There's so much useful information in those books...
I keep thinking about what Alfie said, to Luther and to me. Mostly to Luther. I keep thinking about what I felt. There's a stillness inside me, this misty grey space that I fell into today. I think it's a bad place. The fog hazed my judgement a little. It made it seem, I don't know.. Maybe that's where people go when they realize that the ends do justify the means.
Oh! Have I mentioned that we're tied with Ravenclaw for House Points? We're going to win this year!!
That's it. I need sleep.
12:45am
Why was he so mad? Why did he look at me like that? Things feel strange. I keep thinking about it. It's ruining my sleep.
7 Comments | Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
Since everyone is doing these, and I'm a good little sheep:
</form> Or, Corbi's secret shame: </form> (as a note, Luther doesn't have an IC livejournal, but watches me with his RL one.) Second: I'm poking at the idea for a mu* that involves a bunch of supernatural creatures living in an (unflooded) present-day-ish New Orleans. Basically, "magick" exists. Wizards can use it (HP, Dresden Files, etc for reference), there are magickal races like Vampires, Shapeshifters, and so on. I'm going to have a few "canon" supernatural races, and then leave it open application if someone wants to app something from another source, but they have to basically write the news files for that species if it has not been app'd yet. I'm not sure of the plot, yet, but if anyone wants to help make up species/race info, or plot, or help build, or help code/find code.. I'll love you forevers. :> Just leave a note (or @mail or whatever) and I'll fill ya in.
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
Alright. I've been pondering Corbin's songs, as I tend to get song stuck in my head and make little soundtracks for my characters.
Stabilo: Flawed Design
Gowan: Innocent
Gowan: You Never Let Go
( Corbin's Soundtrack, so far anyway... )
And, if you know of a song that makes you think of Corbin, share it with me. :)
4 Comments | Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
I shoulda posted this, I'm not sure that I mentioned it.
May-June I have classes Mon, Tues, Weds, Thurs nights from 6-9:30, so I'm gone at least from 5-10pm every day.
July-August I have classes Mon and Weds 9am-4pm, and Tues and Thurs 6-9:30pm. So I'll be gone until about 5pm Mon and Weds (unless I also grow a social life after classes!) and Tues and Thurs from 5-10pm.
September, assuming I get into school Full Time, I'll be gone for the most part 3 days a week, but I won't know my schedule until September.
Also, I'm looking for a place to move out, closer to class, so my transit time to and from will be less and I can RP more. Not sure when I'll be moving, anywhere from June - August.
Anyway. I'm in art school now, people, so root for me not to fail. :)
1 Comment | Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
|
|
You know, when mum suggested keeping a journal, I thought she was crazy. Turns out I was right. I just don't take the time to write in this thing. Maybe it would be easier if I actually cared... but I'd much rather stick my nose in a book than write in one.
Alfie convinced me to get a practice wand so I'd get better at my motions, and get used to using the wand as much as I could. I have to say, I think it's helped. I'm not surprised, I think Alfie's rather brilliant, all things told. He's probably my favorite housemate.
I've been rather moody since I messed up so spectacularly in Nosfertum's DADA class against those horrid things. Lost Hyde points for trying to save me from my own stupidity, but I guess that was the kick I needed to focus. Those things, everything in that class.. it all still freaks me out, but the utter embarassment along with Alfie's demands for constant wand practice have helped. I was supposed to go talk to the Magical Creatures professor about it, but I never did.. I won't tell Hyde that, though, he'll be mad. I promised.
I'm doing better in the class, though, really. I'm fine as long as my first spell doesn't completely fail. It's fine. My other classes are all going well, but that's not saying much as I don't think there's ever a time that I'm not nose-deep in at least three books in addition to my class texts. Potions is by far the best. Oh, I love it. Getting lost in the rhythms of chopping, grinding, stirring. Watching the potions turn just the right colors. Learning why they work, what interacts with what, the other uses for ingredients.. It's lovely. I wonder if I can practice potions at home over the summer. Is that field classified as magic as well? I know we can't use our wands, but.. I'll have to find out. It's probably too early to start making up my own mixtures but I do have entirely too many willing victims relatives to make stuff for. I think I could improve a few things, to be honest, if I can convince mum and da to add to my book collection. Maybe not improve things compared to the professional junk, but compared to what we do in class. I imagine I'm just suffering the effects of ambition to be better than the others in my year - then again, isn't that what Alfie is grooming me for?
I hope he's not mad about the other day. Things were getting rather heated between him and that chippie, Chayse. Gryffindor. Imagine! Hyde snogging a Gryffindor. It sets my teeth on edge. Just the idea of it - then again, I'm not that fond of the idea of anyone snogging.. but a Gryffindor?! She seems to be working her way through a fair number of boys, though, climbed out of the bushes in the garden and Alfie had some scathing remarks about selling herself for a chocolate frog in Knockturn Alley in the future - all in the guise of warnings to me, of course, about being a good student and taking my studies seriously. When this girl wandered in, followed by the prefect Nikolay - oh... right. Him. - I had to step in. Hyde and I had good timing, and he got the points back I'd lost him earlier, but we broke them up before things became physical and that was good. Put me in a bad mood, though.
I'm not mad at Alfie. Even if he'd lost us more points than that. It's not a big deal. We're just supposed to be being good and he was provoking her. Not that she didn't deserve it. I'd like to do a little more than provoke her - I don't see what Hyde sees in her, I really don't, but I don't think he should spend so much time with her. It's uncouth.
He showed me something yesterday, though, after teasing me over another bout of clumsiness. And he took my picture. I wish he'd taken more, when I was sitting right in the colors, just so I could see what it looked like. I felt sparkly. I'm not going to tell anyone, though. He was so.. peaceful, almost, so I think I'll just keep the blue-green ferret to myself and if I'm lucky I'll catch him there again.
I think it was the first time he didn't smirk at me when I laughed.
Whatever. This is far too much dallying when I should be writing for my History of Magic class. Seriously, what a waste of time. Blathering on like this. I don't know how the others do it. It's taken me ages to write this.
Oh! Slytherin won our match against Ravenclaw! I'm so proud of our team!
2 Comments | Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
Place: Library, Hogwarts
Characters Involved: Corbin, Hyde
Brief Synopsis: Corbin returns Hyde’s spellbook, and somehow convinces him to lend her another.
( Books and Potions )
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
Place: Edge of the Forest, Hogwarts
Characters Involved: Corbin, Luther, Hyde, Peter
Brief Synopsis: Testing out spells above and beyond her ability, Corbin tries to kill Luther by lighting him on fire this time. It doesn’t work out that well, and Corbin ends up a little damp.
( A Touch of Fire )
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
|
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
bouncy
